do you jizz?

i'm just crazy about my lady regions. never mind that i should be studying instead of baking a cake and thinking about self-love. you should be in love with your plumbing, too. boys get to name their parts and touch them everyday when they go pee. a lot of women don't even know what everything is called down there. a shame!

The-Clitoris.com is such a great place. i just adore reading the extremely informative articles about things such as outercourse, arousal and orgasm, and sexual desire. i sent my boyfriend the one on cunnilingus and he was slightly offended, but i hope he highlighted and took notes. even if you don't have a guy or a girl to do such great things for you, go read the [lovely] articles on masturbation, body image, sexual fantasy, etc. it's all about the promotion of female pleasure and health. parfait!

then go buy some shmexy skank-whore panties. these are mine that i blew a whole $3 on today:

just wear them for the hell of it, just to know that you've got red lace running up the crack of your ass and that it looks damned hot on you. then hop in your bed with your vibrator, or just your right hand and some good music. don't stop until you've cum at least three times.

1) "I Touch Myself" by The Divinyls
2) "Shake It" by Metro Station
3) "Rid of Me" by P. J. Harvey
4) "Criminal" by Fiona Apple
5) "Turning Japanese" by The Vapors

or if you have a partner [still don't stop until you have cum at least three times]:
1) Anything that comes of of Marvin Gaye's mouth
2) "Oochie Wally" by Nas
3) "Blindfold Me" by Kelis
4) "Pony" by Ginuwine
5) the sound of that lucky person's heavy breathing

there is just so much sexiness wafting around right now. so much, that i feel overwhelmed. yes, it's possible. did you know that Michel Germain created Sexual pour Homme, a cologne with pheromones and aphrodisiacs in it to enhance the male sexuality? can you imagine what that will do to you? have you drooling and dropping your pants in front of anybody wearing it, that's what. also, CAT position during nookie will get you off in two minutes. andy better revise his plans to play Monopoly! order some condoms personalized with a picture of your favorite character from a movie. have fun with your sexuality and your body, especially the lady regions. the clitoris has way many more nerve endings than the entire penis does. female power!

i'm done. i've got to get to downloading some appropriate music and making preparations to look hotter than solar lava.