to be, to be!

Magic -- sxc.hu

i've got my wretched Lady Days. a friend of mine of any length unfortunately knows that i always readily divulge such details. and quite regularly, i am not surprised at how my friends eagerly share with me and our other friends that they, too, are similarly afflicted. kind of like that time when we all talked about our vaginas. that's right, You! i didn't forget! we share stories about us crying, yelling, being gassy, and just plain ole acting like a bitch to anyone within a yard's radius of us. we should all count it as luck to be separated from one another via monitor screen and such at times.

i've been a bloated mess, but i feel unusually inspired to play around in my digitally-created world. i've been catching up with all of you, smiling at your stories, laughing at your pictures... i swear it's been something painful as missing a best friend.

so, "To be, or not to be?" as with the question of Hamlet's inaction. i am being active in today. Kotex has done a lovely job with their marketing of products. at the store from which i was purchasing them, the cashier forgot to ring me up for my tampons and liners, she left them at the back of the belt. the man in line behind me pointed it out to my cashier, and she apologized, but i would have none of it. i had forgotten my things also! i laughed it off heartily saying that i was ready to pay for them at her convenience; and besides, they surely didn't belong to the man behind me! the whole line laughed, and my positive mood was catching like flu.

right now, i'm listening to my Pandora station. it's full of Placebo (of course, you know me), Muse, Interpol, Depeche Mode, Massive Attack, etc. it's divine. and that "bit" older man in the picture in the last post happens to love my taste in music--and just about everything. "I don't mean to rush things here, BUT we should totally get married tomorrow and have babies--just saying..." his words. haha, but God knows i'd never blindly step into ANOTHER proposal again. and by the way, last year's Valentine's Day, i found myself at the end of an engagement to a man whom i childishly loved with EVERYTHING inside of myself. and this year, the day right after Valentine's Day, i find myself on a hot date with a man who says that he sees "another engagement happening." oh, my! i do not lie when i remark on how marvelously "must-have" i am. and haven't i told you that before?

ah, Pandora has just played "Obstacle 1" by Interpol. just, YES. my hair is silky straight and shiny. and i have managed a few, long, blonde streaks into my natural bob. i'm excited for my date tomorrow. i hate to date myself unnecessarily. but the man is a 30 year old who has taught at the same junior high and high schools that my brothers went to. and he's best friends with my high school Calculus teacher's husband. this is both weird and not. 30 is not too old for me. indeed, i still have a pair of shiny, black pumps hiding over a 28 year old Doctor B's apartment over in River City after i left them one weekend. ah, i'm bad!

while i'm still fueled with my vitamins, better diet, less smoking, and new medicines from my doctor, i'll resume catching up with all of you, my lovely dolls. and if you've noticed that i haven't been by to check on you in a while, it might be because i have an incorrect link, or don't have one at all. "Follow" my blog and be sure that your profile is linked to a current, active link to you. or comment below to fill me in. i am ever amazed at my growing Followers list and your lovely, encouraging reviews of appreciation. peek them at the top right in the sidebar. and, of course, i can't wait to meet some more of my friends to have a blast with! i'll be right here for y'all. with glitter confetti and poetry. make my day, and watch me make yours.

"Goodnight, sweet ladies, goodnight." i think that this is Shakespeare also--Hamlet, even. Ophelia? or maybe it is from Romeo and Juliet. hmmm.

*and have you peeped my most recent addition to my viewer content? (most recently added is my very massive and extended, self-help gift of an article for you, "Being Happy, Feeling Good -- Going from Clinical Depression to Having the Midas Touch in Your Regal Life!" originally Premium Content, i gladly decided to offer it freely!)*

i miss y'all!!! KIM, LIZ, ESTERA, ALL!!! xoxo
and from what i've been reading, some of y'all have had some very envy-inducing Valentine's Days! Lucky Ones! i'm jealous :-D 
glitter confetti and love poems,

Being Happy, Feeling Good

 Being Happy, Feeling Good

“Going from Clinical Depression to Having the Midas Touch in Your Regal Life!”

a massive, original article by ♥cherry at RousingVenus.co.cc

(not to be re-sold or used for profit without explicit consent given from the author, cherry, at www.rousingvenus.co.cc)

This is my first article in what is surely to be a series of premium, downloadable content.

(i was originally going to let this go for from $3-$5, but i feel too inspired to share. click "go on" below..) 

positively pulling...

ohmygosh! 

i keep eyeing my Followers gadget in my sidebar to the right, and i get startled and SO thrilled each time i find myself welcoming and reading the latest posts by another new friend of mine! it feels so good to make the friends that i have always wanted to make. it is so lovely for the things of my desires to be drawn unto me effortlessly... thank you, to all of my Loves--my followers. Liz, Kim, Jayla, Cass, etc (don't you dare fight each other, you are listed in no particular order). you truly are the raddest people on the planet. and thank you to the Universe for moving things into place for my benefit and for the benefit of those in my life! i get a kick out of just looking around and witnessing my magickal, positive vibrations rubbing off and transferring themselves to my friends and making big moves in the name of Love, Power, and Magick.

stick with me, and who knows what we may accomplish!

sxc.hu

i fell in love with some prose penned by one of my blogger friends, Jayla, just today. i know that i'm supposed to be waiting for her consent to share her work, but i can't fight my urge to let it flow from her, to me, and to you:

"Burst" by Jayla

I feel like I'm going to burst, because I need you

I'm not sure who you are, but I need to know soon

The waiting can't get any longer, and the temptations grow stronger each day.

Why can't they understand that I am no longer a baby, but a young woman with true feelings.

I feel like I will burst any minute, I am so filled with love, yet no one to share it with.

And when I am finally able to release that love, I don't think I'll be able to stop.

isn't that just so nice to read? it feels like being at the brink of falling upon the greatest adventure of her life so far! this hobbit does indeed go on adventures, and she could not be afraid of old, white-haired wizards coming to her door with mischief up their long sleeves. i'm a huge nerd, yes. i can completely envision Bilbo Baggins' round, little green door to his home, with a golden doorknob directly in its centre... i can photographically recall blocks of my favorite literature from memory at the appropriate moments. it is one of my quirks that i absolutely LOVE! hmmm... watching LOTR, or re-reading some of the trilogy, should be added to my agenda today. i feel inspired to get that done!

and i got the best Thank You email, ever, just yesterday from an amazing blogger whom i know in real life after i gave some of my most loving and helpful advice to her:

oh my word! I don’t even know where to begin!

Thank you, thank you, thank you! for the links, the advice, and especially the Love. Your email sat a smile on my face and a joy in my heart that nearly kept me awake all night. I’m violently eager to swan-dive into all these opportunities and even more to offer my wares to you.

So thank you for opening the door! And for your elaborate research into this Law of Attraction and other keys to Divinity. Your investigations are always so thorough and your zeal is sincere. I can totally tell!

that's Ka...--oops! i mean, Estera Star for you people! and she's quite the progressive and entertaining webmistress herself. she has a load of projects that she currently manages, and they're just great!

haha! i'm giggling because this post has taken up its own agenda and become an introduction/meet-up of sorts of my coolest friends. but it's bursting with good feelings pulling more good feelings unto itself. this is all that matters, really. it's the point of anything worthwhile. we all really only should be focusing on feeling our best so that we can then fully come into being our best.

"Through your ability to think and feel, you have dominion over all Creation." -- Neville Goddard, New Thought Author

raise your glass!

"Speaking of Joy" by Marie Elliott

raise your glass--to yourself!

i was noticing my growing number of followers, and i got put into a dancing mood after commenting over at cassidy's space. she's the newest addition here at our quaint, little club of raving and good feelings. and you truly have a fierce grasp on this whole Life thing, lady cass! go you! everyone else should stop by and leave a bunch of love letters for her, too.

isn't it just lovely that Life can feel SO good? even if you aren't in that place for yourself (yet), you can't help but notice the magick that other people whom you might admire are making in their own lives, and thus believe in the power of truly being Alive and rocking your own existence. woo! it just gets me so much more fired up about being the best woman alive when i see other ladies doing it!

"your life is supposed to feel good. are you allowing it to be so?" 

when i took full responsibility for my experiences in my Life, i felt freedom for the first time. i took upon myself as my only job to be in complete control, not of external conditions, but of my reactions and my emotions. happiness is hardly about circumstances and genetics. it's more about our actions. and if you believe in the Law of Attraction at all, which you should, then this is just compounded and augmented.

"that which is like unto itself is drawn." this is the Law of Attraction/Law of Love. it is the basis of most religions and spiritual beliefs. there is a reason that love has been enthusiastically embraced and faithfully held on to since the beginning of Time itself. and that is because the more you emit love, the better your life becomes. and guess what? you have an unlimited supply of love to give ;-)

imagine this: you have a big wish. you have this one desire, and you absolutely are in love with the idea of it. you dream about it and daydream about it. you imagine what it would be like if it were already yours... and then you get it. haha! this is exactly the way life can work for you--if you know how to harness your latent abilities to go with the flow of the Universal Laws! we can fly in airplanes by not changing gravitational laws, but by working in harmony with them, right? make it your new mission to do the same with love in your own life. you truly can manifest your heart's desire right before your eyes--even in real time--if you are strong and focused enough. this is why i choose to lifestream; it's a method of powering up my good thoughts and feelings and focusing them on what i want, because then the positive pops up into my reality. a majority of the time, my life goes just as i intend it to go because i have trained my mind, and thus, designed my life to bring me my happiness! 

it's simple: spend your time loving things, and what you love is magnified in your life. spend your time resisting love and not allowing it, and you experience negative conditions. this is really the most important thing that i have learned. it's magnetic and pulling. it is real. love is an energy that moves in waves and currents, unseen just like electromagnetism.

and while i currently don't teach the Law of Attraction here at Rousing Venus, i AM a large enthusiast, and i have tons of resources. why not give it a good looking into--if only because it is the key to having everything you want, and creating and living the life of your dreams! imagine infinite joy and all of your wishes coming true. spiritual leaders and founders have taught that our lives can be abundant and blessed because this is a real possibility. an amazing life just doesn't belong to the people that we aspire to be. it can be yours right now--IF you know how to go about acquiring it. it is my business to live this phenomenon in my own life, and to enlighten you on awakening and wielding this latent magickal power of yours. 

• Jessica Mullen (she has such a grasp on manifesting her desires and proves it in her lifestream, and she teaches how to do it for yourself! she even began a School of Life Design for you to complete to more fully know how to wield this latent magickal power of yours!)
• The Secret and The Power (i'm sure that you have heard of these phenomenal books that are sweeping the world for a very, very good reason; it's not such a big "secret!")
• Jetta Vegas  (she also is a Seeker and a good teacher; her blog is full of the proof)

it is a major mission of mine to create for myself the life of my dreams and to feel like the greatest woman alive. and i post with the intention of my readers being encouraged and  finding the emotional resonance within themselves to do the same thing.  

productivity while walking the black dog.

i like smiling.

Sir Winston Churchill really has my heart, as he is noted for not only suffering with depression, but also for being a remarkable person despite still having to do what he called "walking the black dog."

if you know anything about me, there are some things that appear at the forefront: i'm quite tiny. i have a weird attraction to wigs when my real hair can be glamorous. i draw on my eyebrows with expertise. i love animals and books to the extreme. i have tried to dislike the color pink to avoid its connotations and failed time and time again. did i already mention my book collection?.. you should really see it; it really is impressive and pretty cool, too!..

what is also probably the saddest attribute that any living person can unfortunately find themselves expressing is that of depression--and that has been my tragedy for more than half of my life. depression is an umbrella term spanning an entire, gloomy spectrum of what in many cases becomes an all-too-real "disability" even. it really irks me when my own mother wasn't approved for Social Security benefits for her debilitating battle with depression that was handicapping her, and inhibiting her experiencing life. it is very much a "disorder." you cannot just "snap out of it." would someone who is autistic or M.R. be told to just "get over" their mental condition? not at all. and believe you me, i've run the gamut of trying to leave my dark secret behind, trying to forget it, only to be reminded that i am only human, and even if i am wearing Wonder Woman panties, i still need some help from time to time.

the reality here in our time-space experience is that even those afflicted with a mental condition such as depression can find themselves being swept up by the tides of an overwhelming and very consuming force of today's demanding life. the world does not stop turning and rotating, the days just keep coming, opportunities do not wait, and nothing is owed to you, or even offered your way very easily. and those who are not in a healthy state of mind, and who honestly cannot help that about themselves, often find themselves conquered and run over by this bittersweet run of progressing life. it can be so utterly painful that your feelings become even too sore for tears. and i won't even mention the darkest sides of this pain--the places that can lead to self-medicating, drug abuse, self-harm, and suicide. i'll only say that i have been blessed to find myself on the opposite side of this scale for the most part--no matter how much i have found myself hurting. yes, hand clap to myself! APPLAUSE!

and while i still have to work to not succumb to my lurking, dark feelings threatening to pull me under, i've realized that in order to really do this thing called living, i had take full responsibility for my experience here on Earth no matter what hand i have been dealt. i am not the only woman, by far, who has to carry some less-than-splendid loads around with her for much of her life. and in my recognizing this and my pockets being empty from my break from working, i just HAD to get back on the horse. nothing was being handed to me, everyone else had their own crises to contend with, and i had so much that i genuinely wanted to acquire for my life to make it all worthwhile. heh--i was still very sick and i had to get a job, all while walking that black dog of mine.

i had been working full-time (even in high school) because my mother is a disabled nurse who cannot provide as she used to, and because i'm a grown-ass woman who contributes when she can! with my little brothers in school, it's usually me who doing to providing. lots of people don't know this about me! my life is not all magick spells and love stories! it gets quite hard at times... and there are several valuable life lessons that i have learned about staying afloat from my full past of work experience. it has helped me stay afloat not only at different businesses, but also just from the day-to-day pulling of life's currents.

1. the reason people work is largely because they "have to." it's hardly ever falls to what is the easiest, most desirable thing. if you start to look at life as being full of things that you "have to" contend with, then it becomes easier to digest: you "have to" get out of bed and go about doing things. you really "have to" shower and take care of yourself. you "have to" be alive and here right now for whatever worthwhile reasons that keep you going. and it's very important that you find those reasons!
2. it gets easier with practice. remember how good you got at your last job after only a couple of weeks following the routine? remember how nervous you were on your first day compared to your feeling of relaxed expertise that you had later? life works exactly like that to. put in the time and the effort, and your progress will become apparent to you and those around you. and it gets easier, and it gets to feeling good!
3. distractions are lovely. anything to get you out of your mind in such  robotic, monotonous ways is such a relief! at my desk job, i had framed pictures of my family and my dumb-ass friends. i always used a pretty, pink pen. i loved to surround myself with live flowers and bright colors to remind myself of beautiful things which exist in abundance in our wide world, if i only took it upon myself to look. you can do this with the rest of your life too--spruce it up. inject your life with some vitality. we all know that just because you're alive, doesn't mean that you're living. research some new music. buy some chic clothes from the thrift store. start a walking circle in your neighborhood. get in your car and drive around town for no reason other than seeing the scenery outside and to be seen out in the world! i call this phenomenon "ornamenting" you life. light it up like Xmas lights. flash, flash, motherfuckers.
4. it all goes on, and you have to get what you can acquire. at work, it's a paycheck, or a check and tips for me right now. my job doesn't need me or owe me anything, however. i am putting myself in the situation to where i can benefit. i want the money and benefits, so i offer my labour. the job doesn't need me and will go on if i never show my face on there again--i can be replaced. it's rather harsh, but living is a lot like that too. the world's only job is to go on. it doesn't have to shine a ray of light only onto you. if you sleep your life away in bed, the seasons keep coming. there is however some beauty to this which makes for one amazingly bittersweet experience. LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL. we have all of the power in the world only over ourselves. we can choose to restrain ourselves just as easily as choosing our freedom. we can live while choosing to remain open to the beautiful, wonderful things that life can send in our direction. and the more of this you notice, the more it occurs. we can love as much as we can (which is an infinite amount), and harness the greatest power in the world! this alone, actually, is the purpose of life to many religious groups for plenty good reason. while harnessing love, all of the power in the world belongs to you. the more love you emit, the more your own, personal life is nourished and the more beautiful your own experience becomes. try to make your life as brilliant as it can possibly be... it's all up to you to choose that path--depression, mania, OCD, autism, whatever. now that feels good.

the bottom line is that at the end of it all, what you get out of your experience is only ever up to you. if you have a crappy life, you really can only blame yourself. it is never your parents' or your ex boyfriend's fault. conditions and environments are not your prison. they are a given. make your circumstances a springboard! and if it's any help, think of all of the other people who are on a similar journey and who have not given up, like me! give yourself a reason to smile again. of course the work begins inside, and it truly does get better the more you do it. and doctors and medications do have their very important place in the scheme of things, just as they do with any other condition/ailment/affliction/boo-boo. always be the first to help yourself, and other things follow accordingly. i promise!

love and love and LOVE,

ringing in two-thousand-and-heaven.

sxc.hu

1. there's nothing more important than that you feel very, very good.
2. you get what you feel, not what you think. you can say the most positive things and wear the most convincing fake smiles, but when you look around at your life, it's reminding you of what is real. and feelings are what make anything real. heal your heart, if you do nothing else. fix it and feel very GOOD genuinely, despite everything.
3. we've got so much freedom; we can actually choose to inhibit ourselves! it's always personal; no one does the job for you.
4. the joy is in the journey, not just the destination. be happy in now, while later approaches. don't terminate the experience!
5. smile a lot. even forcing one makes you feel better, and this alone has immeasurable value.
6. stay grateful for the things that you love now to ensure that they are always there.
7. there's absolutely nothing wrong with daydreaming.
8. meditation is truly a lovely thing for many, many reasons. anything that gets you out of your head is so relieving. 
9. always aim for the better and better feeling thoughts until it is a habit for you. your neighbors will get sick of seeing you smile and your cheeks will ache!
10. i'll never stop saying it--life isn't happening to you; it's following you. make it worth your time. make it feel good. 

my holiday present to you.

i'm quite resourceful, and i'm always full of brilliant news to share with my friends. i'm so thrilled about this one--i might have outdone myself here! this is even an unimaginable very-much-desired gift for myself! i hope that any of you can find enjoyment from it (and if you can understand its worth, you surely can, and WILL)!


i'm a Deliberate Creator: i design my life. you've heard me say it that life is not happening to me, but FOLLOWING me. i study and follow the Law of Attraction and work to manifest my own desires into my life for the joy of it. Advice to Deliberate Creators is a book being shared across the Web among fellow seekers, and even those just beginning to take the trip inside to this personal, magickal world. i refer to the practice of this substance in excess, and there are innumerable references sprinkled throughout my posts. but i have not gone about explicitly teaching and outlining this precious and beneficial approach to enjoying life like never before. this book seems to be a handy jewel of an inspirational tool and resource full of advice to remember when anyone goes about the work of manifestation via the Law of Attraction.

in other words, perfect the art of manifesting and getting exactly what you want to be, do, and have in your life through this ancient Universal Law! read this book, take notes, and study how to get your Loves to rendezvous with you as mine do with me! i'm definitely beginning to read it now. it's a wonderful, free resource, and i very much recommend it being a beginning step towards making magick with your own life. do look into it and let me know all of the wonderful things that you create and manifest for yourself!

• here's a "Sneak Peek" at some of the treasures waiting freely within for you to indulge in:

1. Notice when you feel good and realize the more you appreciate those moments the more they will occur. 

2. See what it takes to make yourself feel good again and learn to do that more and more and easier and easier. 

3. Not feeling good can mean so many good things. Let go of those moments softly and gently, they are there to teach. 

4. The universe is fully intent on you, loves you and supports you right or wrong (if there is wrong). Think of it as an intimate friend that grants wishes. 

5. You will change; go through stages-because of this. Immerse yourself in loving yourself unconditionally and be with those who also love you no matter what.  

-- Brian

• read/get/download it (freely!) HERE! Happy Holidays! go ahead and share it yourself; keep the positive energy cycling!

sources: The Good Vibe Blog

young heart & blue eyes, free tonight!

MERCY! i love looking at me some pretty blue eyes and pink lips! think my date liked this?

GLAMOURBOMB! 

it's about TIME and time again for this Momma (wait, i don't have any babies--just a bad, bad puppy, thank God) to start having fun like before: after the most serious breakup of my life thus far, and being uncomfortably busy with school, work, and plain ole being responsible in general, i've been so wound up in things that don't feel like a Saturday afternoon massage, if you can understand me. so i put on my discounted, purple little Wet Seal dress, slapped on some mark. makeup (that i used to sell! okay, i just bought it all for myself) with my best skill, and fit on my newest wig for a night out at a restaurant sitting across from a 6 foot plus tall blonde Adonis from Baton Rouge, LA. he is so hot! and so charming! but i didn't kiss him; i restrained myself from assaulting the unsuspecting older man. he's got a few years (and several, several inches,and a Master's Degree) on me, and the chemistry was unbeatable. thick to the point of nearly being visible. i couldn't have penned something better in story. i am so thrilled and excited to see how the Universe can work with my desires surrounding this! i hope i have a reason to get back on the NuvaRing! condoms are not my preferred method. shhh!

pretty woman, for sure!

ahhh, maybe we'll ride four wheelers in the mud in Forest next time. or see a movie and have wine upstairs by a fire at his house... oh, YEAH-- he insisted on a next time. did i already explain that he is a very smart man? i'm done bragging for now. but feeling good with high energy is the way to get the Universe moving with you in your desired direction, so i'll go crow to some family members now. my mommy is already down my back asking for every detail. she's so adorable. i love her more than most anything and she's the best friend i've ever had--PLUS, she gave me some super high-quality genes with Dad's help. this is the best type of inheritance, if you ask my opinion. i always tell beautiful women just how beautiful that i think that they are, and i got my fair share of returned compliments just tonight, boy!

will i be single for my new adventures too?

i don't care if any of my exes are kicking themselves (which they are). i don't care about any other woman. i'm simply pumping gallons of energy into my own fairytale of a life and riding all good feelings as far as they can take me. this is all about me. because if i'm not the absolutely best woman that i can be, then i'm absolutely no good to anyone, or anything else! if i put so much energy into loving myself first and feeling my best, then everything else deliciously falls into place: i won't need to find anything extraneous to take the place of being personally grounded. even when i have been heartbroken or depressed in the past, i've never been a girl to rebound into some condition out of desperation. i've stayed single for years. i didn't carry around with me a fear of missing out on something. because, you know what? i've got it all already. and other people can sense that, and then the correct, deserving people will enter into my sphere and rendezvous with me appropriately. in example: Larry, Andrew, Antonio... they're all GONE. vamoose! seriously, with this high of excitement, joy, and giddyness, i am mentally sending each evil, all-wrong ex of mine to Hell. each enemy of mine can have her fill of hating me while i offer them no energy (except in sending them to Hell and declaring just how much that i don't need them--they need ME to hate and fill the void in THEIR lives!). i am high-fiving myself! i am thanking my mother for taking hot pictures of me and giving me the best tested and tried first date advice! i am thanking Cosmo magazine for their tip on pairing a sexy party dress with a cropped biker jacket! i am thanking my job for allowing me to make awesome tip money enough to buy the glamorous, new wig that i am donning! i am thanking the Waffle House on I55 North for being short of servers and scoring me (or, actually one of my brothers who need the money more) an invitation to apply for the job tomorrow at 7! DAMN! do you want some of this magic that i have earned and created for myself?! i am mentally sending it out in waves in YOUR direction, if you so desire to smile as infectiously large as i am on tonight!

and he ended our tryst with a big, lovely hug and a "You smell SO good!" and a "If we're being candid, you have a lovely, lovely smile. You are now etched in my thoughts... for better or worse. Hopefully better." now, that's what i'm talkin 'bout! 

my friends, i am back. i cannot wait to catch back up with all of you. and you better have some good news for me to celebrate with you about! see you then, my loves. 

Big Love your way, 

rampage of appreciation!

ahhh! i feel so FULL-of-Love today. even after crying last night. you know--i cry so much more readily at the things flowing from beauty than i do for anything else. go ahead and try to make me cry; it just means that i'm falling in Love with you.

i'm blogging for pleasure, not for pressure; and, i support all the ladies (and occasional man who finds himself here) who do the same in their own lives. you rock so much! i Love it!

whoever said to "let a fever run its course" is on my Hit List. OH, i WILL murder you... you see, even if this resonates as all kinds of Truth in my very scientific mind, i am still a little off from appreciating it. my breath has that universal, disgusting tinge to it in the back of my throat, which is a gift from the bacteria of having a virus. i don't have a fever (thank Godforce), but my body is still warm (and not from energy manipulations). my tummy hurt all last night from being full of swirling flu violence. i yelled at my mommy and cried while i was dizzily walking into walls and tripping over animals.

please take hand sanitizer with you on all of your adventures this season! Victoria's Secret and Bath & Bodyworks have the cutest travel-sized anti-bacterial--and they always seem to be on sale (i should know) AND they smell like all kinds of divinity!

i am lining up my energy for not only work today, but for the entire day itself. with enough focus, i can almost mold my existence as from clay--but i prefer my life to meet me halfways. it makes for more of an adventure. i am practicing Loving more and more frequently. i am gathering an arsenal of things i Love for the next 30 days, and using this in my Creative Workshop, or my Life Laboratory, to overhaul my life even further. read: meditate my ass off with more realistic visualizations to aid in the effectiveness.

• i Love everyone whom i have added to my Google Reader: i can't wait to read and comment on all of your newest posts! it's a date! we will rendezvous then.

Wouldn't It Be Nice?
wouldn't it be nice if i could forget that i have a cold? wouldn't it be nice if my multivitamin had superpowers? wouldn't it be nice if i remembered that I have superpowers? wouldn't it be nice if used my meditation time like Clark Kent uses a telephone booth? wouldn't it be nice if i could get away with doing no laundry today? wouldn't it be nice if i had a lot more fun that i expected today?

fragile x, autism, high.

this is just a random emission of mine. born from a conversation i had yesterday from an old friend:

i was talking to an acquaintance from my old university on instant messenger yesterday and my mind played over all of my concerns, ideas, and opinions of this man. i've always considered him to be spacey and even dense. he was unattractively goofy in his mannerisms. he had slight speech problems and was really S-L-O-W to speak and react. his excuse was that he was just being chill. to my knowledge, he didn't do drugs--BUT his eyes always seemed glazed over and had no real focus. he would just gaze into space as if nothing was really there. he would blink like he was constantly waking up from a dream.definitely a goofy spazz of a person.

don't get me wrong, this guy wasn't retarded. he was an engineering major at school. but today i was so perplexed as to his "problem," or just him being him, and i Googled a possible explanation.

Fragile X Syndrome causes symptoms similar to autism:

• Mental retardation
• Tendency to avoid eye contact
• Hyperactive behavior
• Large forehead or ears with a prominent jaw

also, the affected men have atypical social development (i just thought the guy was weird for no reason), shyness, strange vocalization (high pitch, weird sounds, cluttering of words, and strange facial expressions. heh. my acquaintance exhibits all of these things!

but then again, he probably did use drugs (or used drugs as well as being affected by FXS, which would only amplify his condition).

so: Fragile X Syndrome, Autism, or Stoner (a big possibility considering his social crowd)? my mind is enjoying wrapping itself around this. damn, am I a carrier?! are you?

all about vag.

now, take a moment to recover from your awkward feelings, because i'm going to make it worse very soon.

as a future gynecologist / obstetrician and superstar women's rights activist, i'm pretty passionate about the vagina--the whole vulva and mons pubis, actually. i'm also very comfortable and open with discussing these things. lots of girls feel an unavoidable embarrassment when just the word "vagina" is mentioned. me--i use it everyday. sometimes overly so. "oh, my vagina is happy like from the Vagina Monologues!"

female genitalia are not treated fairly! boys get to touch and familiarize themselves with their parts daily when they piss from the youngest of ages. they even give their parts nicknames, like Peter and such, and this is considered normal. it's nearly a crime that ladies don't accept this privilege. we are raised from birth to be super conservative with the knowledge and love of our bodies. it's OK for fellas to masturbate regularly, but unheard of for ladies to do so too?! a sexist double-standard. hello! some girls don't even know the different names for parts of their sexuality, thus are not fully knowledgeable of their own bodies! how can you expect such a lady to then take proper care of herself and make developed and informed decisions?! a crime, if you ask me. please, please, please tell me that you at least know where your clitoris is, and that this tiny part of yourself houses a crap-ton more nerves than does a male's entire penis. how's that for female empowerment?!

now back to the photo and making your awkward feelings worse: sadly enough, i used to be self-conscious about the appearance of my down-below region for absolutely no reason. society truly prevents us from accepting the reality that women are real down there and that we all don't look the same. so, to continue the damage to my poor and unsuspecting readers, which photo from above best resembles you? i know someone who's a 25!

some links that i love. please visit! you will thank me!

• The-Clitoris
• All About My Vagina
  

this idea was ripped from the gurl.com relationships and sex message board.

i can help you: EFT

i can help you heal yourself using only one of your hands! really. and it's not even masturbation-related.

the cause of all negative emotion is caused by a disruption of the body's energy systems.

hmm. by accessing the body's energy meridian endpoints, one can self-administer treatment and correct this disruption--kind of like toying with the antennae on my television when the picture is full of static.

whatever? nope. EFT is real. it's founded by a doctor as an alternative form of treatment for all sorts of conditions: depression, weight loss, PTSD, war memories, phobias, and EVERYTHING. it's like acupuncture without the needles. it seems a bit unorthodox, because i'm only familiar with Western medicine, but Asian cultures have been using this subtle, but powerful form of treatment for ages! what's stopping everyone else?

so with Emotional Freedom Technique, veterans of war have been cured of their stress disorders, clinically depressed people have learned to cope naturally when years of meds and therapy have failed, and folks with severe aquaphobia now enjoy beach trips for the swimming? YES! 

"Some day the medical profession will wake up and realize that unresolved emotional issues are the main cause of 85% of all illnesses. When they do, EFT will be one of their primary healing tools .... as it is for me."

- Eric Robins, MD 

it's really simple: all you need is your hand. say an affirmation and follow with a sequence of tapping on various energy endpoints [which are close to the body's surface] and one can witness profound mental AND physical healings immediately. and according to the writer of the official manual, you don't even need to believe that it's working for results to occur!

so call me crazy. "crazy!" and i agree that tapping on my chin, my hand, etc. looks silly and that something as subtle as touch can physically heal people with severe problems seems unrealistic. BUT, i've been trying it regularly now at the urging of a friend and the science has loads of affirmative case studies as proof. there was nothing to lose and in my experience, i've been feeling even more peachy when one of my emotions or problems get to me deeply on rare occasions: anger, fear, insomnia, feeling overwhelmed and tired on Monday mornings.

want to try it? go to the official website, download the 80 page manual, watch the videos, teach yourself and study the science, do your research... there's nothing to lose. you can tap about anything. and who knows?.. you could really be doing something nothing short of amazing for improving your already royal life! if you have success [or any type of experience for that matter] i'd love to hear about it! please drop me a line!

for the impatient who would rather just dive right in, here is another link to tempt you: EFT on a Page. good luck.
-------------------------------------------------
and PS--i got hired today!!! thanks to my fiance's sister [my sister now too], i've got a new job downtown! i've just finished with my RCIA meeting [to help in my decision to convert to Catholicism], and my hair is full of beautiful curls. today has been SO peachy!

ciao.

blog promotion for prostitutes and rockstars.

as a self-proclaimed blogging connoisseur, as proved by an existence in the Blogosphere since the mid 90s, i'm going to have so much fun with this post: i remember back, at least a decade ago, to my early days of internet whoring.. my own hosted website at an emo-named domain, LiveJournal and OpenDiary have been the instruments of my crime and vanity. my classmates and i had a circle of our vapid overshares in online diary form because we were just so cool. i've read and commented on drug abuse, oral sexin' of boyfriends, beer bashes, debates on how punk the band AFI really was / is, and other  components in the Wasteland of Teenage Angst.

as i got older and the threat of jailtime as well as permanent reputation harm became more real, i matured and formed a more purposeful vision for blogging. i got diagnosed with clinical depression and contemplated my stability online for my own welbeing, sans too many description of sexual encounters, bad music, blue hair dye, and wrist slicing. what i also got interested in was actual promotion. who would have thought that the world was bigger than just myself?! while my classmates were a supportive and depressing audience, i knew that my real friends lived in the computer, states, and even countries, away. how did i reach out to them?

• the gURL.com messageboards has a nice community of ladies who would love to jump on your blog posts if you return the favor. don't forget a shameless and artistic plug in your signature complete with a kissy picture of you and your boyfriend / girlfriend!
• if you're really vain, head to Plugboard.org and link your space with a cute button
• leave comments on other folks' blogs, network, be vain and cool
• join webrings, blog carnivals, etc.
• read some articles from Miss Gala Darling twice
• how to make money from your blog and why to never get a job
• Problogger.net, enough said
  

good luck! and if you become a millionaire celebrity with tons of readers, send me a nice thank you note!

i've got fans and i'm a bitch [fixed and reposted]

okay! i've fixed the email form! go ahead and resubmit. same post, just spiffied up:

1. 4 return visits. 


2. i've got the IP addy
   


3. i can even kind of tell what area of town she stays in. 


4. referring link is that of one of my blogger friends. 


5. and this is NOT the first time that she's been so smart; look at my "advice" to her.
   

i feel really lame for being the target of a mindless internet grudge and i hate having to feel upset and angry! but some folks are just ape-shit crazy and don't know how to move on.

she's pregnant by my undeserving and sloppy leftovers, emailed me admitting to a sad and self-conscious struggle with trying to be "better" than me [poor girl, it will NEVER happen that way], and borrows folks' blogger friends, just like a mature mother, to fill her void of a life? looks like someone not only doesn't have a life but is trying to be a second-rate copy and live mine. it's a sad, sad thing when folks living in their own alternate realities can't see the truth, but it's entirely flattering! thank you, ladies and gentlemen.. i am thankful for every schizo fan..

i'm honestly never a bitch unless it is absolutely necessary. i'm tired of feeling like i'm throwing a mangy, stray cat away just for the thing to return because i fed it once! so to stop the feeding...

TP & PP is going "friends only" like my old LiveJournal days. here's to more candid posts and protecting your email addresses [and my ass] if you're interested! here's to me moving on and away again. here's to the world continuing to turn.

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quotes [and happy summer]!

i'm not going to have time to really, formally blog again until after this week. so everyone have a great start of summer! i know that I'M going to :)

and i leave you with these cutsie things i picked up from photobucket:

the f-word and jokes!

i got pissed because my appointment just called me "sweetheart" at my job. silly boy. here are some rude jokes to make me laugh and feel better. not really feminist, just mean!

Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: "I can do better than this" and he made woman.

"Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe."
-Jackie Mason 

Q: Why are all dumb blond jokes one liners?
A: So men can understand them.

Q: Why do men like BMWs?
A: They can spell it.

Q: Why do men name their penises?
A: Because they don't like the idea of having a stranger make 99% of their decisions.

Q: Why are men like noodles?
A: They are always in hot water . They lack taste. They need dough.  

alright. i feel better now. and i agree that these are mean! i don't really think like this [except for maybe the first one...]. honestly, if that guy knew me, "sweetheart" would be the last thing he thought about me! i'm a woman, but i'm only a "lady" when i can afford to be one. i'm strong. i'm a tart--a cherry tart.

girl love update.

this is a more personal example of girl love/jealousy/nastiness/genuine happiness being played out:

there was a not-so-nice mention of me and my struggle with depression on some girl's blog. she even commented about my thriftiness at staying at the EconoLodge, as if the hotel's name and my wallet didn't confirm it already. here is a blip of her post and my exact comments back.
-----------------------------------------

Here's me thinking, "Shouldn't you have a life by now?"

Seriously, I heard that the "artificial happy" pills work wonders. Of course, I have heard that they make you a little worse before you get any better. Started a new brand maybe? Well, trust me, just stick with it and you'll feel better in no time. You'll see the world through fresh, sane eyes. Maybe - just maybe - you'll even be able to truly move on!

Hmph. Good luck with that.

[...]

The vacation was great! Pretty relaxing to be able to escape the usual for a little while. We were even given a King bed suite upon arrival for no extra charge! French Quarter accommodations really are a far throw from a penny-pincher's Econolodge. Worth every cent I didn't have to pay! [...]

Divulged at 11:20:00 AM

2 Comments:

 ♥cherry. le. fait. said...

i'm glad that you're having fun and are so happy. Gala wrote a great article about 100 percent happiness without nastiness directed to other women. it's really good and not too long:
http://galadarling.com/article/jealousy-is-the-killer-of-girl-love

pay attention to quotes like:
"Similar to the way in which if you’re happy with yourself & your life, you don’t trawl the internet being nasty, if you’re happy & have good self-esteem, you don’t view other girls as competition any more either."
and
"One thing I’ve noticed over the last few years is that if you’re really happy with yourself & your life, or if you become that way after years of self-loathing or misery, the way that you interact with other people & the world around you completely changes."

you have better things to do than be passive aggressive toward me and poking fun at folks with severe depression. you had no reason to be jealous of me and to try to be "better" than me like your email said. that's a sad way to think. depression isn't a joke and you should know it. i struggle with it and i hate myself for letting it be a problem, and it's hardly a subject of jest. it's a full-time job managing it with the help of my doctors and whatever "fake happy" pills that they tell me to take, but i love myself and want to be more productive and able, so i do it.

you will feel so much happier when you stop it. and no one will have a reason to view you as "sad" or whatever. all of your energies should be directed towards positivity in your life and the baby's--not my mental state. that's what's most important. frankly, i can't be concerned with you when i have way too much on my plate already, and it should be the same for you.

you have a wonderful life, a baby coming, school, a man you care about, and lots of duties and promise to immerse yourself in and be happy about. now stop being counterproductive by even thinking about my or any other woman's existence and go be even happier!

May 3, 2009 5:46 PM  

---

 ♥cherry. le. fait. said...

and of course the EconoLodge is cheap! it's in the name and that's why i did it! i was broke. i still am. why is this on your mind?

just an example of how you being silly/nasty is pointless.

you don't have time or a reason to be like that! it's unattractive. be happy that you can do better and BE the better person that you want to be.

good luck. you've got a lot going on and a lot going for you. me and everyone else's lives that are not in direct conflict with yours don't deserve your thoughts, comments, etc.

-----------------------------------------
internet fights and grudges are sad for many reasons, especially when they're pointless. if someone is so happy, why mention things that are so obviously beneath them? she has my ex and his baby and a full life to life. what does her life then have to do with me? i'm the one who has some moving on to do?

maybe it takes some growing out of, but everyone learns lessons at his or her own pace. it's not my problem now.

here's to really moving on and being genuinely happy! the proof is in the way you live your life [or update your blog]!

girl love.

readers, stalkers, jealous bitches
friends, Romans, countrymen
lend me your ears:

Gala posted a wonderful article that i shared in my Google Reader when it was first published. it's all about jealousy, competition, and nastiness between women. on the flip side, it was also a description of happiness removed from the existence of anyone but oneself.

i've been thinking about girl love a bit recently. when i was younger, i was bullied--ALOT. girls hated me, cut my hair, were nasty to me, tried to hit me, etc. and i didn't do anything to deserve it. i never did anything to cross them. i never looked for a fight. i pretty much stayed in my Francine Pascal's Fearless books and listened to *NSYNC [shut up]. at the time, it made me miserable and confused that these girls hated me so much, but now i've since chalked it up to jealousy.

and it's hilarious, because in my mind, i had nothing to be jealous of! the other girls were the ones with all of the friends and name-brand clothes! funny, funny, funny.

clearly it doesn't take a genius to fake confidence or happiness.

i've never understood meaningless hate and channeling so much energy and time into something so immature. i'm amused to say that more than one of the misguided ladies who bullied me out of their own sadness and emptiness are now young mothers. coincidence? i'll take this as a warning: never go down the vapid road of hate! don't bother being jealous; instead, vie for self-improvement. don't fill your life with meaningless noise just to cover up a real problem. i'd hate to end up in such a place.

right now, i'd say that i'm on a positive path: i love my family, i've developed some genuine friendships, i have a phenomenal man, i'm successful.. these are things that i didn't have to buy or force myself into for the convenience and comfort. hell, i was single for a damned year before me and Andy hooked up [no rebound, no desperation]. and if i ever find myself not liking a lady for whatever reason, i avoid her instead of wasting time and energy ranting about her--or i fix whatever is in myself that might make me jealous of her. because frankly, if i'm being the best person that i can be, then i can't view another woman as competition. how sad otherwise!

here are some quotes from Gala's article:

"Similar to the way in which if you’re happy with yourself & your life, you don’t trawl the internet being nasty, if you’re happy & have good self-esteem, you don’t view other girls as competition any more either."

and

"One thing I’ve noticed over the last few years is that if you’re really happy with yourself & your life, or if you become that way after years of self-loathing or misery, the way that you interact with other people & the world around you completely changes."

i've linked the whole thing in my title if you'd like to read it! it's a simple decision, really. waste your time being  jealous of another lady who didn't do shit to you, or improve yourself and grow up? you'd better hurry up and make the right choice before your bitter life hands you an ugly, doomed baby without a real father and a life full of government assistance.

this has been a bit sarcastic for sarcasm's sake, but the bottom line holds.

girl love.

i'm still studying. and i'm starving, btw. someone go fetch me a Subway roasted chicken salad.

i've been a shitty presence in the blog world: been busy taking my fake girlfriend to buy wigs and spending way too much money at KFC. been camped out on my sofa reading at least three books at a time. i really just want to finish my finals and get home to my family and Andy's mother's cooking family. how is YOUR life?

hope that you're not wasting any time by being jealous. i'll explain:

aside from just filling your life with negative energy, jealousy and losing control of that emotion can lead you down a detrimental path and even cause you friend, or just some time you could be using to buy me groceries before i collapse.

Gala wrote a great article about girl love--and not the kind that Lindsey Lohan has for her DJ woman. it's short; go ahead and read it.

even if you don't want to be friends with a girl, definitely don't focus your energies on being nasty to her or even thinking nasty things about her. it's so trivial. instead, fix what it is inside of you that is weak enough and making you insecure enough to dislike her. and then avoid her. you don't have to love the bitch, but you don't want to go around getting wrinkles and being bitter with your "friends" while you all chain smoke and whisper bad things about people in the corner--not that i used to do this to everybody, that is.

when i was younger, i was bullied--ALOT. girls hated me, cut my hair, were nasty to me, tried to hit me, etc. and i didn't do anything to deserve it. i never did anything to cross them. i never looked for a fight. i pretty much stayed in my Francine Pascal's Fearless books and listened to *NSYNC [shut up]. at the time, it made me miserable and confused that these girls hated me so much, but now i've since chalked it up to jealousy.

and it's hilarious, because in my mind, i had nothing to be jealous of! the other girls were the ones with all of the friends and name-brand clothes! i was a loser with weird music and second hand clothes. i STILL have second hand clothes and i'm frankly pissed that being thrifty and vintage is in style now when i never had a choice otherwise! funny, funny, funny.

clearly it doesn't take a genius to fake confidence or happiness and it takes nothing less than a strong, fabulous woman to pursue genuine satisfaction.

right now, i'd say that i'm on a positive path, or at least i hope so: i love my family, i've developed some genuine friendships, i have a phenomenal man, i'm successful.. these are things that i didn't have to buy or force myself into for the convenience and comfort. hell, i was single for a damned year before me and Andy hooked up [it wasn't a rebound or desperation]. and if i ever find myself not liking a lady for whatever reason, i avoid her instead of wasting time and energy ranting about her--or i fix whatever is in myself that might make me jealous of her. because frankly, if i'm being the best person that i can be, then i don't have time to think about another woman, let alone dislike her for shit that she didn't even do to me!

but if some lady DOES do something to you, then disregard good reason and flat all of her tires with a knife.


i'm kidding. or, at least don't blame me if you get caught. be sneaky.

the end and i feel fine [because it's BS]

i'm not allowing you to comment because i'm not around to comment lately. studying is taking over my life, although i made some time to get my hair untangled and clean. i'm at our Science majors' library waiting on my sexy Libran girlfriend to get here. isn't she adorable? i blame it all on her new lip piercing--and she pretty much bums me all of the Camels i want [most of the time]. gotta love Finals.
okay, i'm not dating her. Andy is still my only one. she's just one of the few women who aren't sickening to be around. gotta be because we're both of Venus. her middle name is my first name. she likes the same sorority i do. our birthdays are days apart. we love the same cigs [when we haven't quit]. she gets on my damned nerves.

and if anyone is scared about 2012, get over it: you will see the day ofter Doomsday. The Rapture won't happen because too many people are expecting it. the planet will stay in orbit. it has done so on every 12/21 since the beginning of Time. it has been made certain to me that this day will be nothing to worry about, but it will be weird!

i was pretty antsy about this at one time--i was one of those people in my teens scared off of my ass on the 2000 new year. i was expecting Jesus to break through the ceiling and take me away from the MTV countdown. it hasn't happened yet. it hasn't happened during any of the hundreds of other Doomsday prophecies. it won't happen 12/21/2012 [unless Palin is elected say some funny people].

lighten up. wish me luck on my exams. listen to old Sugar Ray singles. paint your toenails. paint my toenails. pay for prescription of BC. get ready for summer!