roundup.

i'm NOT dead. in fact, i've been busy and wearing my Wonder Woman gear: lasso, invisible jet, funk band playing my theme song...

"aww, Cherry! you change men like you do with your underwear!"
actually, sometimes i don't even wear under things.

my snail mail to him: here's No. 2

shock value: Mein Kampf

HOT, right?

.

the storms totally tore through the South. it's as if we can't catch a break! my old town is all BUT leveled, but my friends have high spirits and strength. i've been praying like no other time.

Yaya is a slut and got pregnant. she delivered seven babies March 30th. someone is driving down from Lexington today to pick up one of the little buggers for adoption in response to a craigslist ad of mine. we simply have no extra room for so many more pets! and that's saying something because i live out in the country on three acres of land, surrounded by trees and ponds. it's bittersweet, but Yaya has to remain my main baby. i'm keeping one of her puppies; I've named her Dixie Diamond, the jewel of the South. kawaii!

my undies!

oh! and Nic Sheff has been ALL over my mind. here he is in the bookstore where I work (and play):

gosh, i'd love to meet him. all the more reason to finish MY novel.

YES: i'm studying for the MCAT AND writing a book at the same time...

also, just have to say how proud i am of LIZ! you go, you! you are such a beautiful and powerful force! i would definitely vote for you and rig the votes (if this was a National election and i was managing Florida's ballots).

i'll make a proper return. this roundup stands only to prove that i am alive and well. speaking of which, the Osama bin Laden news couldn't be more major and difficult to fully absorb at once!..

i'll get back to y'all, all of my dear friends, SOON.

nic sheff, mon semblable, mon frere!

life.com

ah, nic sheff. nic sheff, nic sheff, nic sheff. you have quickly become one of my admired authors. one of my heroes so swiftly. your memoire had me swooning when i wasn't cringing. you are a literary young man--i hope i do not insult you by noting that you regard my allusion to Mr. T. S. Elliott, however i may have misspelled his iconic name.

i am unapologetic in my signature practice of the utilization of absent capitalizations and arcane spellings. and obsessions with anything worthy. anything beautiful.

ah, nic sheff. nic sheff, nic sheff, nic sheff.
you don't blog anymore publicly. i would have been honoured to snoop some more at:

New Dawn Transmission - Nic Sheff's Journal of Recovery

you are accomplished and published. you are such, SUCH the "beautiful boy" that your father waxes on in pride, nevertheless.
can i flirt with you by saying that i am published as as well? i am a sad young literary woman? my teachers in high school all cried at my graduation (literally and quite audibly enough to ruin my picture) when i announced that i would be pursuing medical school? that i am envisioning myself to be a younger Anne Rice writing creepy semi-fictitious tales from my old hometown in Yazoo City, Mississippi -- full of its witch, ghosts, and walking-dead residents? the history, the names, the graves, the families, the locations... all are emblazoned in my brain from reality, and i'm weaving them into something that my aunt frankly claims will be a "Best-motherfruckin'-Seller!" and i'm pretty. and i'm single. and i don't think it weird of you to think of a young girl's scarred wrists as "hot". i've got scars of my own, but surely the both of of us have grown up some for our own sakes. and yeah, i admit that i know the ways of a drug seizing control of all of my body--in all too familiar of a way that you have gone into detail about in Tweak. i'm only preserving some of my modesty. and flirting. i know Effexor, Seroquel, Lexapro, Klonopin, in-patient stays, dismissals, a broken engagement to be married, despair, and the whirlwind cycle that we are always in and never taming. me for more than half of my 22 year-old life. oh, boy.

ah, nic sheff. nic sheff, nic sheff, nic sheff.
where have you gone? are you alive and well? alive as an artist. a beautiful man? it seems as f you are so imminent and transcendent at the same time, like celebrities are, like God is. but don't listen to me preach to you for one second. because, you know. you hate that sort of thing. and who said that i would be good at it anyway? 

ah, nic sheff. nic sheff, nic sheff, nic sheff.
how tall are you? who do you doubt your attractive appearance? how deep is your voice? can i touch your fun-looking hair? do you like petite, teeny-tiny, intelligent, well-read, discerning, triumphant, victorious young ladies (younger than you) with a taste for the grotesque and the existential with a load of rude adulterations thrown inside? what do you think that we could talk about? i like to imagine that we have walked a road not too far diverged. i like to think that i like boys who are as singularly unique as quirky as i am. boys who won't ever be understood no matter how many pages they pen. i like boys that i know because i know the ways of myself. and i am a Libra with merciless charms and a hopeless inclinations to romance and relations. (or, you know, an email and some correspondence)

did i mention that i am pretty? that i am an ex-Hooters Girl building my life up into something after University gilded and worthy. beauty from the ashes attributing to my stained lungs.aged enough to date you or, just post about my fanship.

ah, nic sheff. nic sheff, nic sheff, nic sheff. mon semblable, mon frere! would that we could talk.... maybe when i am published again, you could shake my hand or give me a hug. maybe i'm going to sit up a little more and wake up now. and when anyone asks me why i'm giggling for no obvious reason, i'll just click my tongue and giggle some more.

would that we could share anything. "everything."

here's hoping to a good Google ranking and your intrigue. i'm a fan. only because i know both value and worth. and isn't it the saying that goes: it takes one to know one? 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nic Sheff | Official Publisher Page

tweak by nic sheff

Nic Sheff (Nic Sheff) on Myspace

Nic Sheff / Tweak | Facebook 

Nic Sheff, David Sheff Talk About Life After Meth Addiction

Relapse a constant threat, 'Tweak' author says - CNN

Talk and Signing with Nic Sheff, bestselling author of Tweak

Amazon.com: Nic Sheff: Books, Biography, Blog, Audiobooks, Kindle

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The Hip Mom's Guide: I'm Cheering for You Nic Sheff.

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Images

well, i've got somethin' to say!

i killed a pit bull the other day!

(don't read any further if you cannot tolerate the details of graphical reference to open surgical wounds, violence against attacking animals, gore, guns, saws, and Tough Ladies with not one, but TWO firearms) 

truly not as bad as it appears. she's watching TV right now.

i rushed outside to find my baby girl, YaYa, down and caught at her neck by the jaws of an evil pit bull bitch that we had been fostering from the threshold of death for the past few months. when a pit's jaws clamp down, NO force can pry them open. the pit has to relax before the jaws release. i heard YaYa crying in pain with her eyes going red. i could only imagine the damage to her jugular and i wouldn't let MY baby die--without the responsible one dying FIRST.

i tried to break up the fight with my words. i reached my bare hands inside and tried to pry open the great, slobbering jaws of the pit, but they didn't budge. i put a pole in the pit's jaws and used my weight into my foot as a lever in attempt to pry the jaws from YaYa's neck. i went and got the rifle from my uncle's bedroom to shoot the bitch in the head and get it all over with nice and quick. there were no rounds for the chamber, and the damned thing was jammed anyway. useless. i went and got my brother's .22 pistol to take some head shots at the pit to get her off. there were no bullets. WHY DOES NO GUN IN MY REDNECK COUNTRY MANOR OF A HOME HAVE ANY AMMUNITION?! i spied a saw in the garage where the fight was still raging. YaYa sounded awfully hurt, damaged, and in unbearable pain. i pressed a button, but the saw wouldn't run. i had had enough by now. i was going to end this violently and with all of the aggression, anger, hate, desperation, determination, and crazed drive to kill that i could muster in me at the moment (and boy was it a lot). little, ole me, saw in hand, reached way back overhead and brought the deadly sharp blades of the saw down cracking into the pit bulls skull. i'm telling you, the skull audibly had been cracked quite impressively. and i didn't stop. i kept hacking with all of my blood-lusty might and every bit of force and strength to drive the saw's blades harder and deeper down into the head of the attacking dog. fur flew from my blows, blood spewed and spurted from fatal stabs down into the dog's own brain. i shortly saw the pit bull's eyes go dim and roll back into her head as she was losing consciousness and life. her jaws slacked and it was just enough for my YaYa to split and dart inside of the house for cover. i stayed outside. with the saw. i hacked down the dog's head into a broken and bleeding nightmare. i was met with wet, gushing sounds of pulp splitting, and the sounds of skeletal stability being ruined. i reached back way overhead and made quick work of mutilating the head of my former pet. she went still with blood pouring from her misshapen eyes in her gruesomely and warped shape of what was remaining of her cranium. i hacked at her neck over and over and grunted as i partially decapitated her. i stabbed her with the saw. i heard her whimpering in the throes of her being currently murder, so i kept hacking at what was becoming a flattened stretch of bits of loose fur, bloody flesh, innards, and large pools of bright red blood.

when Animal Control arrived, the wagged their finger at me for using two guns that were not registered to me, but chucked when i told them the damned rifle was jammed anyway and i couldn't find any fucking rounds or bullets anywhere! the Sheriff pulled the cigarette that i was smoking out of my mouth and threw it away directly. "I used to smoke like a train; you ought to stop that early on, you know, little miss.!" the Sheriff and the accompanying cop laughed at my accomplishment and called me a "Tough Lady." they removed the remains and mess from my garage and suggested that i buy myself a nice, new rifle to register to myself. i'm going to comply with that.

YaYa is fine. her wound is still open. she had a drain sutured in during her surgery. God is good and let me save my puppy's life, because her jugular was completely unharmed, and the skin there is alive and will heal, so there's no need for a risky future surgery to separate her flesh and muscle from the organ in attempts to save it. she has five prescriptions: a pain reliever, a sedative, an antibiotic tablet for twice a day, a spray-on steroid for healing and cleaning, and a spray-on aluminum bandage. it makes her all shiny, and i've been calling her "Silver" for the past couple of days. she's antsy to no surprise of mine, so i had to also purchase a muzzle to strap onto her snout after her sedative calms her down in order to apply her daily sprays to the wounded areas without risking some painful bites. i've even mastered the art of using a leash effectively to lasso around her middle (she has no neck suitable for a collar to go around), for walks and such. i love my baby YaYa. we take our medicine at the same time together, and both of our mix of medications has increased our appetites. she has been my partner for several midnight snacks and second lunches and the like. she, with her sparkly silver aluminum bandage sprayed onto her neck and her surgically inserted drainage tool, is lying on Momma's (my) bed right now suffering no pain, just the annoyance with her plastic drainage tool getting in her face and pissing her off. she's content and tiredly loving my pets and rubs. she kisses me in the mouth as she has always done. she still rushes at my two cats just to knock them over when they invade her territory (she's still a spoiled, Tough bitch). she's my baby. and she's alive.
(end of my Amazonian warrior woman blood-lust attack of rage with multiple weapons tale that i like to brag about)

• oh, and my dearest "Claytoris" and i are having so much fun together:

• and look at my new calendar! it's March (for me, and for you, and for Kagome, and for InuYasha in Feudal Japan)!

any InuYasha nerds besides yours truly?

• and this is my second mention of this awesomeness! i have a brand-new and fully functional Google Voice Number!

absolutely without charge (unless you happen to be International, outside of the USA) and with all of the freedom and familiarity as with any other telephone, you may call me to chat, listen to my charming, thick accent during my voicemail greeting, leave me a silly voicemail message laughing about said thick-ish Southern accent, and even send me an SMS txt message! if not connecting to me via the widget, then the number directly to my line is: (601) 871-0635 ahhh! exciting and SO cool! cookies to the one who leaves the funniest voicemail or txt message! 

!!!squeal!!!

Violently Happy Evidence: cherry and her Mister S.

to be, to be!

Magic -- sxc.hu

i've got my wretched Lady Days. a friend of mine of any length unfortunately knows that i always readily divulge such details. and quite regularly, i am not surprised at how my friends eagerly share with me and our other friends that they, too, are similarly afflicted. kind of like that time when we all talked about our vaginas. that's right, You! i didn't forget! we share stories about us crying, yelling, being gassy, and just plain ole acting like a bitch to anyone within a yard's radius of us. we should all count it as luck to be separated from one another via monitor screen and such at times.

i've been a bloated mess, but i feel unusually inspired to play around in my digitally-created world. i've been catching up with all of you, smiling at your stories, laughing at your pictures... i swear it's been something painful as missing a best friend.

so, "To be, or not to be?" as with the question of Hamlet's inaction. i am being active in today. Kotex has done a lovely job with their marketing of products. at the store from which i was purchasing them, the cashier forgot to ring me up for my tampons and liners, she left them at the back of the belt. the man in line behind me pointed it out to my cashier, and she apologized, but i would have none of it. i had forgotten my things also! i laughed it off heartily saying that i was ready to pay for them at her convenience; and besides, they surely didn't belong to the man behind me! the whole line laughed, and my positive mood was catching like flu.

right now, i'm listening to my Pandora station. it's full of Placebo (of course, you know me), Muse, Interpol, Depeche Mode, Massive Attack, etc. it's divine. and that "bit" older man in the picture in the last post happens to love my taste in music--and just about everything. "I don't mean to rush things here, BUT we should totally get married tomorrow and have babies--just saying..." his words. haha, but God knows i'd never blindly step into ANOTHER proposal again. and by the way, last year's Valentine's Day, i found myself at the end of an engagement to a man whom i childishly loved with EVERYTHING inside of myself. and this year, the day right after Valentine's Day, i find myself on a hot date with a man who says that he sees "another engagement happening." oh, my! i do not lie when i remark on how marvelously "must-have" i am. and haven't i told you that before?

ah, Pandora has just played "Obstacle 1" by Interpol. just, YES. my hair is silky straight and shiny. and i have managed a few, long, blonde streaks into my natural bob. i'm excited for my date tomorrow. i hate to date myself unnecessarily. but the man is a 30 year old who has taught at the same junior high and high schools that my brothers went to. and he's best friends with my high school Calculus teacher's husband. this is both weird and not. 30 is not too old for me. indeed, i still have a pair of shiny, black pumps hiding over a 28 year old Doctor B's apartment over in River City after i left them one weekend. ah, i'm bad!

while i'm still fueled with my vitamins, better diet, less smoking, and new medicines from my doctor, i'll resume catching up with all of you, my lovely dolls. and if you've noticed that i haven't been by to check on you in a while, it might be because i have an incorrect link, or don't have one at all. "Follow" my blog and be sure that your profile is linked to a current, active link to you. or comment below to fill me in. i am ever amazed at my growing Followers list and your lovely, encouraging reviews of appreciation. peek them at the top right in the sidebar. and, of course, i can't wait to meet some more of my friends to have a blast with! i'll be right here for y'all. with glitter confetti and poetry. make my day, and watch me make yours.

"Goodnight, sweet ladies, goodnight." i think that this is Shakespeare also--Hamlet, even. Ophelia? or maybe it is from Romeo and Juliet. hmmm.

*and have you peeped my most recent addition to my viewer content? (most recently added is my very massive and extended, self-help gift of an article for you, "Being Happy, Feeling Good -- Going from Clinical Depression to Having the Midas Touch in Your Regal Life!" originally Premium Content, i gladly decided to offer it freely!)*

i miss y'all!!! KIM, LIZ, ESTERA, ALL!!! xoxo
and from what i've been reading, some of y'all have had some very envy-inducing Valentine's Days! Lucky Ones! i'm jealous :-D 
glitter confetti and love poems,

books and dreams.

Authors Nic and David Sheff. SO much love to Nic!

hello, sweet loves of mine, sweet children of mine--Guns N Roses style, for all you rockstars.
how have things been going in your respective adventures? i sense a lag among some of you. it might be explained away with exams, or family dynamics, or environmental conditions, or just being remiss in being the awesome blogger friend of mine that you truly are.

i've been taking a passionate stance in achieving my well-being. my doctor is hilarious, in that he told me that my bed was supposed to be used for sleeping and for sex only--and THEN he fist-bumped with me! haha! my new medicines are giving me some deserved relief. i feel like i can become an even better woman than i was before, and quite easily the greatest woman alive. you can't stop me. i still have to beat men off with a stick and tell them that i'm married. the truth is that i have absolutely no room or desire to give a man a significant part in my life right now. i would just fail him, and i don't like hearing some stupid male whining to me, when i'm taking care of ME. silly little boys. this is truly the first time in my life during which i have placed romantic relationships at the very back of my mind. guess who's growing up?

and i've been having weird dreams. i dreamed that I slept with Nic Sheff, the author of the book Tweak, which is phenomenal. the dream was pretty sweet too ;-) last month it was Ryan Jennings from The Real World N.O. any more of this, and i'll run out of sheets! and speaking of the gorgeous and inspirational author Nic Sheff, i just purchased his dad's book covering his parental distress at having a son who's an addict, and it's sublime. David Sheff's Beautiful Boy is great! the dad is also really hot too. very good genes, apparently.

when i'm published soon, i would like to have a hot author husband. Nic Sheff, Christopher Rice?..

• "New Dawn Transmission" -- Nic's discontinued blog surrounding his journey of recovery. kind of disappointed that he quit... *pouts* his writing style is immediately intimate and aggressively engaging. his debut novel is an impressive submission that i find as a joy to introduce to my bookcase of motley jewels.  
• Tweak by Nic Sheff -- his debut project. i'm a fan of it. considered a young adult book despite its graphic honesty. Nic's book is written to shock and entertain while enlightening onlookers. it also warms hearts and consoles those who feel overwhelmingly alone in facing their demons of chemical dependency, mental illness, and habitual bad decisions. it engenders relief and hope among those who are too often regarded as being "lost," or even a figurative "casualty." 
• Beautiful Boy by David Sheff -- the perspective of Nic's father, David, during the season in Nic's life that was largely affected by his drug usage. i've only just bought it yesterday (after wanting to get my hands on it for about 2 months now), so i unfortunately cannot add more flowery commentary to my review. i will say that the father's submission also engenders a well-needed sense of relief and hope from those lives affected by addiction, whether directly or indirectly. also has some great statistical, chemical, and psychological commentary included and supported by his personal and direct experiences in researching.

Nic has self-image concerns, but i think that he is SUCH a beautiful man! his eyes and mouth are lovely. and after viewing some videos of some random speaking affairs of his, i think that he is absolutely passionate and loyal to those he loves. he admitted to obsessively telling people that he loved them on accident. how adorable! and he has a round and full upbringing that has made him a wise and content adult; he is quite mature. Nic Sheff knows the value of practicality, has killer taste in music, and enjoys capital-L Literature. why aren't more men made like this at home?

Being Happy, Feeling Good

 Being Happy, Feeling Good

“Going from Clinical Depression to Having the Midas Touch in Your Regal Life!”

a massive, original article by ♥cherry at RousingVenus.co.cc

(not to be re-sold or used for profit without explicit consent given from the author, cherry, at www.rousingvenus.co.cc)

This is my first article in what is surely to be a series of premium, downloadable content.

(i was originally going to let this go for from $3-$5, but i feel too inspired to share. click "go on" below..) 

returning with smiles.

i nearly forgot how absolutely good it feels to post here among my friends--both the old bitches and the new ones.
i got a check in the mail recently from one of my friends who makes it useless for me to have enemies. he owed me a bunch of money in parking tickets when i left my car in his care for a weekend. haha! he's such an asshole and wrote out the check in both of my names :)

Pay To: Cheniece "Cherry" Smith

 

i've been getting a lot of positive feedback from people. especially about my January 4th post on Mental Illness--namely Depression. i got a "love letter" from a guy! how cool is that? i don't have his permission to share it, so i'll try to respect him as much as possible while i do this:

"Thank you for your Jan.4 post about depression. I have been struggling

with depression and ocd since I was 13. Now I am 35 - have a family

and a job, but it is a lifelong struggle. I thought you made Some

excellent observations. On a second note, you are very beautiful and

lively. Looking at your eyes is a pleasurable as reading your content.

My blog is at ___________.blogspot.com. - don't be frightened by the

one pic of me (I was "Joker" for halloween)" -- An Awesome Guy

"OH, that makes me so happy to get positive feedback! that made me smile so big--PLUS, i'm glad that you liked my observations [and my eyes, apparently :) ] i can't wait to dive into your blog... nice Joker face, by the way! "Why So Serious????" -- Myself to Awesome Guy

this sort of thing makes me feel so good.
i have a party to go to now. can you imagine me riding around with balloons AND a dog in my car? it happened. i have to be off. catch up soon. xoxo

ciao,

random web development nocturnal emissions.

this is more for my reasoning and decision-making. but if you've been thinking about moving to your own free domain, then it's worth a looking into.

i love being fancy and progressive, so i readily housed my dear blog/lifestream at a TLD--a dot.tk. dot.tk has been around for ages, and i have used their services to rename my various projects to somethingwickedcoolivecreated.tk and the like. i love it. it's free. what's not to love?

the only thing is that you must manage to acquire at least 25 hits per three months at your new and lovely dot.tk domain. frankly and without desiring to appear like a brag (for once), this has never been hard for me to do. in fact, if i wasn't getting, or planning to get, such hits, i probably wouldn't bother with owning a domain.

at dot.tk, i have full DNS control, which only means that i get myname.tk, plus me@myname.tk email addresses, subdomains, etc. i'm thinking of paying $20 to legally own the domain and to preserve it for two years, which is not at all bad.

but, hey--co.cc does the same thing freely. as in free. no renewal fees. completely easy to understand. and get this--NO MINIMUM TRAFFIC REQUIREMENTS. it's one less thing to consider, which i completely support. you get ALL of the same perks, a domain (not a top-level one, but still very impressive appearing), email, subdomains (think about how much your friends would love for you to host them at your domain and give them a subdomain of yours!--www.yourfriend.yourdomain.co.cc), full legal rights (which dot.tk doesn't give freely), no forced ads or favicons... it's just great really.

this has been my experience with what i truly consider to be the best free methods of owning your own domain out there. with both places, you can fancily establish your web presence in a way that demands more respect, add your own favicon that shows up in bookmarks and in the address bar like i have done (see me up there?), you can truly have fun with taking the creation of your web presence to the next level.

i'm Libran, and i have an awful time with decisions. i can never make up my mind. but don't be surprised if i announce my relocation to "myawesomeblog.co.cc" soon. and i encourage anyone who is interested to consider moving to their own domains as well, even if only for the reason that it is just SO much fun to do. i'll answer any questions and offer any suggestions to you along the way. when have i ever steered you wrongly? ;-)

positively pulling...

ohmygosh! 

i keep eyeing my Followers gadget in my sidebar to the right, and i get startled and SO thrilled each time i find myself welcoming and reading the latest posts by another new friend of mine! it feels so good to make the friends that i have always wanted to make. it is so lovely for the things of my desires to be drawn unto me effortlessly... thank you, to all of my Loves--my followers. Liz, Kim, Jayla, Cass, etc (don't you dare fight each other, you are listed in no particular order). you truly are the raddest people on the planet. and thank you to the Universe for moving things into place for my benefit and for the benefit of those in my life! i get a kick out of just looking around and witnessing my magickal, positive vibrations rubbing off and transferring themselves to my friends and making big moves in the name of Love, Power, and Magick.

stick with me, and who knows what we may accomplish!

sxc.hu

i fell in love with some prose penned by one of my blogger friends, Jayla, just today. i know that i'm supposed to be waiting for her consent to share her work, but i can't fight my urge to let it flow from her, to me, and to you:

"Burst" by Jayla

I feel like I'm going to burst, because I need you

I'm not sure who you are, but I need to know soon

The waiting can't get any longer, and the temptations grow stronger each day.

Why can't they understand that I am no longer a baby, but a young woman with true feelings.

I feel like I will burst any minute, I am so filled with love, yet no one to share it with.

And when I am finally able to release that love, I don't think I'll be able to stop.

isn't that just so nice to read? it feels like being at the brink of falling upon the greatest adventure of her life so far! this hobbit does indeed go on adventures, and she could not be afraid of old, white-haired wizards coming to her door with mischief up their long sleeves. i'm a huge nerd, yes. i can completely envision Bilbo Baggins' round, little green door to his home, with a golden doorknob directly in its centre... i can photographically recall blocks of my favorite literature from memory at the appropriate moments. it is one of my quirks that i absolutely LOVE! hmmm... watching LOTR, or re-reading some of the trilogy, should be added to my agenda today. i feel inspired to get that done!

and i got the best Thank You email, ever, just yesterday from an amazing blogger whom i know in real life after i gave some of my most loving and helpful advice to her:

oh my word! I don’t even know where to begin!

Thank you, thank you, thank you! for the links, the advice, and especially the Love. Your email sat a smile on my face and a joy in my heart that nearly kept me awake all night. I’m violently eager to swan-dive into all these opportunities and even more to offer my wares to you.

So thank you for opening the door! And for your elaborate research into this Law of Attraction and other keys to Divinity. Your investigations are always so thorough and your zeal is sincere. I can totally tell!

that's Ka...--oops! i mean, Estera Star for you people! and she's quite the progressive and entertaining webmistress herself. she has a load of projects that she currently manages, and they're just great!

haha! i'm giggling because this post has taken up its own agenda and become an introduction/meet-up of sorts of my coolest friends. but it's bursting with good feelings pulling more good feelings unto itself. this is all that matters, really. it's the point of anything worthwhile. we all really only should be focusing on feeling our best so that we can then fully come into being our best.

"Through your ability to think and feel, you have dominion over all Creation." -- Neville Goddard, New Thought Author

my holiday present to you.

i'm quite resourceful, and i'm always full of brilliant news to share with my friends. i'm so thrilled about this one--i might have outdone myself here! this is even an unimaginable very-much-desired gift for myself! i hope that any of you can find enjoyment from it (and if you can understand its worth, you surely can, and WILL)!


i'm a Deliberate Creator: i design my life. you've heard me say it that life is not happening to me, but FOLLOWING me. i study and follow the Law of Attraction and work to manifest my own desires into my life for the joy of it. Advice to Deliberate Creators is a book being shared across the Web among fellow seekers, and even those just beginning to take the trip inside to this personal, magickal world. i refer to the practice of this substance in excess, and there are innumerable references sprinkled throughout my posts. but i have not gone about explicitly teaching and outlining this precious and beneficial approach to enjoying life like never before. this book seems to be a handy jewel of an inspirational tool and resource full of advice to remember when anyone goes about the work of manifestation via the Law of Attraction.

in other words, perfect the art of manifesting and getting exactly what you want to be, do, and have in your life through this ancient Universal Law! read this book, take notes, and study how to get your Loves to rendezvous with you as mine do with me! i'm definitely beginning to read it now. it's a wonderful, free resource, and i very much recommend it being a beginning step towards making magick with your own life. do look into it and let me know all of the wonderful things that you create and manifest for yourself!

• here's a "Sneak Peek" at some of the treasures waiting freely within for you to indulge in:

1. Notice when you feel good and realize the more you appreciate those moments the more they will occur. 

2. See what it takes to make yourself feel good again and learn to do that more and more and easier and easier. 

3. Not feeling good can mean so many good things. Let go of those moments softly and gently, they are there to teach. 

4. The universe is fully intent on you, loves you and supports you right or wrong (if there is wrong). Think of it as an intimate friend that grants wishes. 

5. You will change; go through stages-because of this. Immerse yourself in loving yourself unconditionally and be with those who also love you no matter what.  

-- Brian

• read/get/download it (freely!) HERE! Happy Holidays! go ahead and share it yourself; keep the positive energy cycling!

sources: The Good Vibe Blog

young heart & blue eyes, free tonight!

MERCY! i love looking at me some pretty blue eyes and pink lips! think my date liked this?

GLAMOURBOMB! 

it's about TIME and time again for this Momma (wait, i don't have any babies--just a bad, bad puppy, thank God) to start having fun like before: after the most serious breakup of my life thus far, and being uncomfortably busy with school, work, and plain ole being responsible in general, i've been so wound up in things that don't feel like a Saturday afternoon massage, if you can understand me. so i put on my discounted, purple little Wet Seal dress, slapped on some mark. makeup (that i used to sell! okay, i just bought it all for myself) with my best skill, and fit on my newest wig for a night out at a restaurant sitting across from a 6 foot plus tall blonde Adonis from Baton Rouge, LA. he is so hot! and so charming! but i didn't kiss him; i restrained myself from assaulting the unsuspecting older man. he's got a few years (and several, several inches,and a Master's Degree) on me, and the chemistry was unbeatable. thick to the point of nearly being visible. i couldn't have penned something better in story. i am so thrilled and excited to see how the Universe can work with my desires surrounding this! i hope i have a reason to get back on the NuvaRing! condoms are not my preferred method. shhh!

pretty woman, for sure!

ahhh, maybe we'll ride four wheelers in the mud in Forest next time. or see a movie and have wine upstairs by a fire at his house... oh, YEAH-- he insisted on a next time. did i already explain that he is a very smart man? i'm done bragging for now. but feeling good with high energy is the way to get the Universe moving with you in your desired direction, so i'll go crow to some family members now. my mommy is already down my back asking for every detail. she's so adorable. i love her more than most anything and she's the best friend i've ever had--PLUS, she gave me some super high-quality genes with Dad's help. this is the best type of inheritance, if you ask my opinion. i always tell beautiful women just how beautiful that i think that they are, and i got my fair share of returned compliments just tonight, boy!

will i be single for my new adventures too?

i don't care if any of my exes are kicking themselves (which they are). i don't care about any other woman. i'm simply pumping gallons of energy into my own fairytale of a life and riding all good feelings as far as they can take me. this is all about me. because if i'm not the absolutely best woman that i can be, then i'm absolutely no good to anyone, or anything else! if i put so much energy into loving myself first and feeling my best, then everything else deliciously falls into place: i won't need to find anything extraneous to take the place of being personally grounded. even when i have been heartbroken or depressed in the past, i've never been a girl to rebound into some condition out of desperation. i've stayed single for years. i didn't carry around with me a fear of missing out on something. because, you know what? i've got it all already. and other people can sense that, and then the correct, deserving people will enter into my sphere and rendezvous with me appropriately. in example: Larry, Andrew, Antonio... they're all GONE. vamoose! seriously, with this high of excitement, joy, and giddyness, i am mentally sending each evil, all-wrong ex of mine to Hell. each enemy of mine can have her fill of hating me while i offer them no energy (except in sending them to Hell and declaring just how much that i don't need them--they need ME to hate and fill the void in THEIR lives!). i am high-fiving myself! i am thanking my mother for taking hot pictures of me and giving me the best tested and tried first date advice! i am thanking Cosmo magazine for their tip on pairing a sexy party dress with a cropped biker jacket! i am thanking my job for allowing me to make awesome tip money enough to buy the glamorous, new wig that i am donning! i am thanking the Waffle House on I55 North for being short of servers and scoring me (or, actually one of my brothers who need the money more) an invitation to apply for the job tomorrow at 7! DAMN! do you want some of this magic that i have earned and created for myself?! i am mentally sending it out in waves in YOUR direction, if you so desire to smile as infectiously large as i am on tonight!

and he ended our tryst with a big, lovely hug and a "You smell SO good!" and a "If we're being candid, you have a lovely, lovely smile. You are now etched in my thoughts... for better or worse. Hopefully better." now, that's what i'm talkin 'bout! 

my friends, i am back. i cannot wait to catch back up with all of you. and you better have some good news for me to celebrate with you about! see you then, my loves. 

Big Love your way, 

rampage of appreciation!

ahhh! i feel so FULL-of-Love today. even after crying last night. you know--i cry so much more readily at the things flowing from beauty than i do for anything else. go ahead and try to make me cry; it just means that i'm falling in Love with you.

i'm blogging for pleasure, not for pressure; and, i support all the ladies (and occasional man who finds himself here) who do the same in their own lives. you rock so much! i Love it!

whoever said to "let a fever run its course" is on my Hit List. OH, i WILL murder you... you see, even if this resonates as all kinds of Truth in my very scientific mind, i am still a little off from appreciating it. my breath has that universal, disgusting tinge to it in the back of my throat, which is a gift from the bacteria of having a virus. i don't have a fever (thank Godforce), but my body is still warm (and not from energy manipulations). my tummy hurt all last night from being full of swirling flu violence. i yelled at my mommy and cried while i was dizzily walking into walls and tripping over animals.

please take hand sanitizer with you on all of your adventures this season! Victoria's Secret and Bath & Bodyworks have the cutest travel-sized anti-bacterial--and they always seem to be on sale (i should know) AND they smell like all kinds of divinity!

i am lining up my energy for not only work today, but for the entire day itself. with enough focus, i can almost mold my existence as from clay--but i prefer my life to meet me halfways. it makes for more of an adventure. i am practicing Loving more and more frequently. i am gathering an arsenal of things i Love for the next 30 days, and using this in my Creative Workshop, or my Life Laboratory, to overhaul my life even further. read: meditate my ass off with more realistic visualizations to aid in the effectiveness.

• i Love everyone whom i have added to my Google Reader: i can't wait to read and comment on all of your newest posts! it's a date! we will rendezvous then.

Wouldn't It Be Nice?
wouldn't it be nice if i could forget that i have a cold? wouldn't it be nice if my multivitamin had superpowers? wouldn't it be nice if i remembered that I have superpowers? wouldn't it be nice if used my meditation time like Clark Kent uses a telephone booth? wouldn't it be nice if i could get away with doing no laundry today? wouldn't it be nice if i had a lot more fun that i expected today?

ahh, mundane magic-making!

a pretty lady. can you see the Magick here? would that you could feel it!

i Love the support and admiration that i have been attracting to my lifestream! yes, please. more of this. thank you, authors of PSEUDOVISUAL and escribir la verdad, for stopping by with nice things to say/being interested in having blogger friends. both of you run very lovely blogs, and i have told you myself previously! if you'd like, i can link you within my "links and love" page, where all of my loves stay.

thank you, Universe, for being such a magickal force when we couple our reactions! that's REAL chemistry, for ya! i actually get deeply into feeling the Love that i feel for various subjects in my life, and it sends me right into my Vortex. i feel the Love, and the subjects of my Love get augmented. the more i give Love, the more Love is refracted unto Myself. it is so. 

i Love being friends with this 6-foot-five blonde man with blue eyes who can play the hell out of an AFI song on his guitar and who looks delicious when shirtless. i Love all of the good feelings that i have experienced from my entire assortment of friends, acquaintances, lovers, and even those who make me their arch nemesis. i am eternally grateful for the opportunity to co-create with them, for their insight, for their Love, and for any and all of their energies that they have so graciously donated and directed towards me. it's a gift. it's opportunity. it's ALL apart of helping me more fully become Who-I-Really-Am. so, whatever you may think of me, i'm saying thank you to the entire population of you! thank you, thank you, thank you, mes cheres. and whether you care for it or not, there is Big Love coming from me and being sent in your specific direction right now with immense force. i will not inhibit myself from loving. i will not. i will Love abundantly and in immense measure. there is no excess. there is no limit to the amount of Love that i can give, thus no limit to the heights that my life can approach. so, thanks for that also. Love, and love, and love forever.

but, yes--back to this hot man. i can only imagine the intense good feelings that will surely come from the Universe at work on my behalf surrounding this subject. i've got to take the emotional journey, and i undertake it very gladly!

dinner is here! it seems that i have attracted some french fries into my life after craving them for a while. this always happens to me when i become very connected to my Inner Being. the flow becomes infinitely synced for a while, and i'm deeply in the Vortex! folks ask in awe, What has happened to you?

syncing Love in my life.

my dinner from tonight. didn't finish. got DAMN close, though!

as is painfully obvious, i am a SUBWAY enthusiast. here's a load of veggies being slapped onto my dinner. after work, i'm usually never to be witnessed making dinner for myself, or even having something that's available for me at home. and i can never finish an entire foot-long worth of delicious Veggie Delight or Spicy Italian sub. Most goes to my mother and my puppy, Yaya. but for $5.45 exactly (and a little guilt associated with the amount of mayo/honey mustard that i request), i can get full with no effort on my part outside of going to the shop at my local WalMart, or to the one in the shopping center about five minutes away from my home. i'm all too okay with this! and Yaya absolutely loves it!

thanks, annoying lil bro! i'll return this to you. maybe.

i had intended to so some research on chakras recently and to familiarize myself with their significance, but i had no idea of where to start. sure, i could use the internet, as so many people readily rely on for way too much of their lives, but i wanted to indulge in some authentic studying to satisfy my genuine, inspired desire. after merely mentioning the word "crown chakra" in a discussion last night at home, my little brother said that he only knew a little about what i was referring to; he had a book relating to it in practice of giving healing massages.. oh, a book, you say? let me see that. he pulled it out of a bag of his girlfriend's things, and surely, i was pleased to find the general info that i was looking for AND  a great outline on the subject. in the chapter. i also found a jewel of a section instructing how to perform an auric meditation while highlighting and revitalizing all of the body's chakras! i enjoyed doing this for myself last night during a PM meditation session... it was thrilling! i experienced tingles all over my body and this delicious warmth emanating from my every chakra center. can you imagine how lovely it felt to be consciously aware of my heart chakra as i let all resistance fade away and freed my mind into fully Aligning and Allowing? i got so close to the I-Am-ness latently smoldering within me, and i lit it to a full, spectacular fire of passion! it truly was one of the highlights of my night.

another lovely highlight was discovering that a lifestreamer whom I absolutely adore had graciously linked me from her own very established lifestream along with giving me a few flattering compliments that made my cheeks burn. and it didn't hurt that it earned me some unique and very much appreciated traffic curiously clicking over from her own network. lucky me! thank you, jessica mullen! and thanks for paying me the visit and for offering me your extra helpful crtique about my RSS feed. i adore you, your pink hair, your startlingly bright presence, AND your offered kindness (which is nothing short of a gift in my eyes)! i Love it and actually take the time now to physically and emotionally feel and experience this Love, and so i then say yes, more please to this sort of pleasant surprise popping up into my life experience.

i'm pleased to see that i have at least one persistent viewer from Belhaven. i'm thankful for all of the traffic that i have consciously and otherwise attracted here. it confirms to me and the outside world that the work that i am doing in my life now is not only working, but also that it is indeed so attractive-looking from the outside, that someone can't help but to be consistent in coming to visit and to read! why, thank you, in that case! you do flatter me too much! i had originally intended for my lifestream to remain very low-key, but after discovering that i had a visitor from so close to home who STILL managed to sneak past my elusive practices AND my wishes, i disregarded that thought. i love to share the wonderful news about my magickal life with any and everyone who turns their ear to me. as my blog description declares, my promise here is all about "Fabulously Ornamenting your Adult Life, and Divining and Masterfully Wielding your Latent Magickal Powers," and i have every intention of holding true to that promise. so, who then, really, could resist? i pivot promptly from all thoughts relating to being even slightly annoyed by what one could term "current snoops" and the sad ones from my past who were malicious and empty due to their diseases of insecurity, jealousy, and desperation. and i just fully know that i refuse to allow myself to succumb to such an obviously unhealthy fight upstream. and i can never keep the smiles off of my face, now that i have decided to acquire much better things in my life experience! i swear (of course i do--all of the time) that it is becoming more and more difficult to recognize me ever since i have begun reaching to uncover the face that i had even before my parents were born. how about that Big Mind statement for you?

i'm very proud of my last post about casting Love Spells. and i am enjoying writing this general lifestreamLove Spell! i love the purple bottles full of intoxicating and fantasy-inducing scent... i am SO happy for the sale there today and for my $10 discount waiting to be used there floating around in the bottom of my purse. mmm! i wonder just how many times exactly that i have uttered the word "Love" this week. let's make it double! and let's double the feelings! it feels SO good!

with Love, as ever--cherry.

TiLT! [edited]

*now fixed for commenting!*

it's time for another lovely Things I Love Thursday! there is so much to pack into this list that i won't even try to fit in everything. i'll save some for friday. and saturday. and everyday because there's plenty to go around the entire week. woot, woot!

 

• my hair. i'm wearing my real hair now, which is amazingly long. i'm always surprised to see how far down my back it is when i remove the extensions.
• my blogger friends. i'm actually becoming quite fond of all of you bitches for some reason. y'all are just so great and pretty and fun! i just want to have a big party and bake cinnamon rolls for you while we watch Sons of Anarchy!
• my new commenting system. i hope that it isn't giving you any trouble. i know that typing in your email address is a chore, but Disqus allows for threading, which is just so cool! that means real replies instead of the @person convention! if you're interested in switching, go ahead and ask me about the experience.
  
• the fact that i can wear boots and a coat over my sundresses to winterize them. somebody's going to be cute, cute, cute tomorrow! do you do this already and does it make you feel extra feminine?
  
• one of my teachers joke flirting with me. while i was taking an exam. "You look different today [my freshly blown-out hair]! What are you doing later?" haha! you silly man!
  
• Andrew's grandmother sewing me a pink pillow! i really love her and all of my second family so much.
  
• my new, hot pink bra with a bell in the middle. you can hear me suspiciously jingling around corners... where is that coming from?
• and this new sex position that my old man and i have come up with. extra nice! excuse me for this isolated and candid emission.

anyone else who participates in Things I Love Thursday, link back to your own lists, or just tell me something nice! and it's almost the weekend! i hope everyone has some fun plans [or just some good sleep] lined up!

ciao!