to be, to be!

Magic -- sxc.hu

i've got my wretched Lady Days. a friend of mine of any length unfortunately knows that i always readily divulge such details. and quite regularly, i am not surprised at how my friends eagerly share with me and our other friends that they, too, are similarly afflicted. kind of like that time when we all talked about our vaginas. that's right, You! i didn't forget! we share stories about us crying, yelling, being gassy, and just plain ole acting like a bitch to anyone within a yard's radius of us. we should all count it as luck to be separated from one another via monitor screen and such at times.

i've been a bloated mess, but i feel unusually inspired to play around in my digitally-created world. i've been catching up with all of you, smiling at your stories, laughing at your pictures... i swear it's been something painful as missing a best friend.

so, "To be, or not to be?" as with the question of Hamlet's inaction. i am being active in today. Kotex has done a lovely job with their marketing of products. at the store from which i was purchasing them, the cashier forgot to ring me up for my tampons and liners, she left them at the back of the belt. the man in line behind me pointed it out to my cashier, and she apologized, but i would have none of it. i had forgotten my things also! i laughed it off heartily saying that i was ready to pay for them at her convenience; and besides, they surely didn't belong to the man behind me! the whole line laughed, and my positive mood was catching like flu.

right now, i'm listening to my Pandora station. it's full of Placebo (of course, you know me), Muse, Interpol, Depeche Mode, Massive Attack, etc. it's divine. and that "bit" older man in the picture in the last post happens to love my taste in music--and just about everything. "I don't mean to rush things here, BUT we should totally get married tomorrow and have babies--just saying..." his words. haha, but God knows i'd never blindly step into ANOTHER proposal again. and by the way, last year's Valentine's Day, i found myself at the end of an engagement to a man whom i childishly loved with EVERYTHING inside of myself. and this year, the day right after Valentine's Day, i find myself on a hot date with a man who says that he sees "another engagement happening." oh, my! i do not lie when i remark on how marvelously "must-have" i am. and haven't i told you that before?

ah, Pandora has just played "Obstacle 1" by Interpol. just, YES. my hair is silky straight and shiny. and i have managed a few, long, blonde streaks into my natural bob. i'm excited for my date tomorrow. i hate to date myself unnecessarily. but the man is a 30 year old who has taught at the same junior high and high schools that my brothers went to. and he's best friends with my high school Calculus teacher's husband. this is both weird and not. 30 is not too old for me. indeed, i still have a pair of shiny, black pumps hiding over a 28 year old Doctor B's apartment over in River City after i left them one weekend. ah, i'm bad!

while i'm still fueled with my vitamins, better diet, less smoking, and new medicines from my doctor, i'll resume catching up with all of you, my lovely dolls. and if you've noticed that i haven't been by to check on you in a while, it might be because i have an incorrect link, or don't have one at all. "Follow" my blog and be sure that your profile is linked to a current, active link to you. or comment below to fill me in. i am ever amazed at my growing Followers list and your lovely, encouraging reviews of appreciation. peek them at the top right in the sidebar. and, of course, i can't wait to meet some more of my friends to have a blast with! i'll be right here for y'all. with glitter confetti and poetry. make my day, and watch me make yours.

"Goodnight, sweet ladies, goodnight." i think that this is Shakespeare also--Hamlet, even. Ophelia? or maybe it is from Romeo and Juliet. hmmm.

*and have you peeped my most recent addition to my viewer content? (most recently added is my very massive and extended, self-help gift of an article for you, "Being Happy, Feeling Good -- Going from Clinical Depression to Having the Midas Touch in Your Regal Life!" originally Premium Content, i gladly decided to offer it freely!)*

i miss y'all!!! KIM, LIZ, ESTERA, ALL!!! xoxo
and from what i've been reading, some of y'all have had some very envy-inducing Valentine's Days! Lucky Ones! i'm jealous :-D 
glitter confetti and love poems,

my grand adventure.

today is one of those mornings that wrap me in magically twinkling stars and sends me going on in awe. gaping fish-face at the overwhelming good that i am wondering about.

it feels so good to feel good, to have it confirmed that no matter what pace i go, i am heading in the right direction (which is truly saying something, because i am terrible at remembering directions. i get lost just driving home all of the time.)

i 've made some friends along this crazy adventure of mine. it's easy to love people when your spirits have a strong accord. it's easy to either say or not say that you are a mental patient with the appropriate respective conviction. it's easy to listen to Train (so glad that this band came back so strongly!) or the Goo Goo Dolls alone in the early, early morning.

"So darling, what you are discovering, is that older, sophisticated, handsome, humorous and charming gentlemen, are more effective than Prozac or Effexor."

 heh, oh yes. i really do terribly muchly so like this sort of man a lot. and i'm liking myself a lot more these days, too--not that i was lacking in said department. i'm hopelessly dedicated to myself until my dying day.

faith is such a blissful word. my feelings right now are such blissful feelings. today will follow accordingly because it must. and i'm going to rise up to meet it.

not nearly dead.

i'm not dead, my loves--my doves.
rather, i've been a little human, and have fallen to being completely dull and uninspired.

until now that is!
breakups cannot stop me! car wrecks have not killed me! even having cramps will only slow me down for a couple of days... i'm immensely powerful!
and i'm busier now that i've taken the time to work on my book. imagine this: excuses to travel to Yazoo City for sight-seeing disguised as "research." easy $60 in gas last week already.

i'll be back and better than before, as goes the way with progression. give it time. i'm giving Myself time... "One heartbeat, at a time."

can't wait to catch up with you all via your respective blogs and such. be expecting a load of love and comments coming from me in your direction over the next couple of days (or so).

xoxo

affirmations upon the new year!

a positivity card of mine--full of affirmations!

look at my card of affirmations (and commentary on HBO's True Blood series if you get closer and squint)! these are the strongest statements resonating of my growth thus far. indeed, they are quite important to me and fun to remind myself of! i knew all of these things already, and right now, i'm always only going about remembering these fantastic truths which make me a damned-near superhero. 

hmmm... if i were a superhero, who would i be? some sick little part of my mind jumps immediately to supervillain, and immediately assumes the role of Harley Quinn, Joker's (excuse me, Mistah J's) hench wench with the awful accent and jester costume. heh, good girls go to Heaven, and bad girls go everywhere!

and, let me not neglect to say,

"Happy New Year, People!"

do you have a kiss this year? i do ;-) if you don't, i'll send one your way! *smooch* two-thousand-and-eleven is two-thousand-and-heaven; it's our BEST year to date! it goes on! it goes up from here! and that's a promise.

bed time (for real this time) affirmations.

here's to more infectiously radiant smiles of mine.

before i crash into a short PM meditation session, i feel very inspired to declare a couple of my affirmations to the online sphere. SO inspired, in fact, that sleep won't meet me! or, rather, i'm making this my excuse. it's kind of the same sort of thing, you see.

1. "I am not my mistakes, or even my triumphs. I am not bound in any sense to even five seconds ago from being All-That-I-Am right now, and especially Who-I-Am-Becoming."
2. "I am the woman who simply has it All together infinitely. It is so."

the second is becoming a favourite of mine, i must relay; i've been reminding myself of its very detail in abundant measure during this passed day. it feels so good to remember this about myself, about little, ole me! i'm actually quite the awesome superqueen, if i may comment.


sweetest fairy's tale dreams and goodnight now! with Love.